Today is Jays bday.... Happy 31st baby.... I had a bit of a melt down about FIL tonight at dinner.. I just feel sooooo wierd about him not being here.. Its just a really strange feeling. I still expect him to come to bdays and stuff. I cant beleive that all that happened.. it feels like we were watching a soap opera or someone elses life... Very very wierd..
While i was crying Hollie came over and touched my arm and said
"mummy are you crying because of poppy? its ok he is in heaven".
I explained to her, how I am sad that he wont see her grow up.. She was his little angel. He adored her. He would love her hair cut. She told me not to be sad and that we might see him in heaven one day and then he can see her hair cut...
Every time I see Thomas' gorgeous smile I think of him, His smile lights up a room and I know how much Ian loved it. He loved his grand kids soo much. I cant believe his time with them was cut short. Just doesnt seem right...
bye for now
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