Tuesday, July 29, 2008

OOHHH just coming in to record my measurements... Still not really dropping weight though...

...........Start/18.july /29.Jul/
Bust 123.5 /120 /118
Waist 109 /107 / 102
Abs 117 /115 / 114
hips 119 /117 / 115
Thighs 74/ 68.5 / 65

That is an overall cm loss of 14.5cm since last time.. AWESOME .... LOL.. i feel my legs are smaller but not much else. When I see my naked body in the mirror I still nearly vomit.. LOL..

Had to do MIL about the LO not being published on the weekend.. She asked was it in soon cause she had to buy a couple of copies of the mag for people.. I was soo embarrassed telling her it wasnt going to be in.... Next time ill know not to tell anyone till I get the payment.. LOL...

The Milnes are on there way home at the moment. yeeahhhhh Cant wait to see them and meet baby Zahlia. ..

I have some studio photos I took of baby Jack but Ive used all my download and its just wayyyy too slow....

Jamie and I have been really making an effort in getting our relationship back on track. Its going Ok so far but I guess we will see if it goes back to the old ways.

Sunday, July 20, 2008

What can I say... Today has been a very emotional day...

Jay promised me he would be home from the pub at 9pm lastnight cause Thomas and I are soo sick.... He got home at 3am the drunkest i have ever seen him. I tried to ring him and of course No answer... Asked him to leave this morning and he put it all back on me. Its all my fault... I have nowhere to go so I cant leave. Id had enough and as sick I was I got up and had a shower and got dressed and went out for a bit. I had a look in target, picked up a gorgeous little boys 00000 suit and burst in to tears. WEnt and sat in teh car and bawled...

Went to the pub Then left there and sat in the car and bawled. Then went to Maccas, sat and read the paper then got in the car and bawled. THen I came home. My house that was clean was trashed..

I just cooked tea in my very sick state and noone ate it except me. Jay said he is too sick ( really hungover) and i just lost it and went in to bed and cried.... I give up.....

Friday, July 18, 2008

Oops life got in the way of blogging again.. LOL..

Lots been happening in the last few weeks.....

Weightloss Still only lost 3 kilos but least I havent gained.. I know ive lost weight in my face and ive lost it in cms.. Here is my starting cms and my current

Start/ today
Bust 123.5 /120
Waist 109 /107
Abs 117 /115
hips 119 /117
THighs 74/ 68.5

OMG check out the difference in each of my thighs. No wonder my jeans feel lose in the legs.. YAY...

Roxy and cameron, Tneesha, Dakota and Kadence welcomed there new little sister into the world on the 15th of July. Zahlia Paige was 7 pound 12.5 ounces, and from the pictures I have seen absolutely beautiful. Cant wait for them to head back here next week. After 2 whole months away from home I bet they cant either..
TOday Faith and Bob, Blake, Pheobe and Charlie welcomed in there little brother Jack. He was 9 pound 1 and 52cm long. I was only just out on my predictions.. LOL... Cant wait to go and visit him and she is coming here on her way home from hospital for a photo shoot. LOL.. Cant wait.

Ears POor Thomas has more ear infections. Had the worst temp on sunday night EVER. I just couldnt get it to drop. God love him. He had his hearing test on Wednesday and she said that he has severe hearing loss. He should be able to hear at 10 decibles and he is hearing at 90 decibles. No wonder the poor little man doesnt talk. Hopefully we will be getting the grommits next month.
I also took Hollie to the GP on Tuesday cause I thought she had a urinary infection but that was negative. While we were there dr looked in her eyes and said she has glue ear as well and suggested grommits for her as well. I have noticed that her speech has become more mumbled, she talks much louder, and doesnt hear us as much as she used to so hopefully it will help...

work I have been so busy with photoshoots the last few weeks. I even did a 4 week old that was on holidays from queensland. She rekons she is coming back for xmas photos LOL.. Im just trying to look for a supplier to do up my block mounts for me. Id love to have a few on display. I have a wedding in September that I am kind of looking forward to doing, even though I swore I wasnt doing them any more. LOL.

Scrapbooking Still really down about the magazine rejection. I havent had the guts to tell Mother in law yet cause I think she was really proud of me, and the fact it was such a special LO to her I just cant tell her.. Ive been trying to do some more scrapping but I always feel like im missing something to finish a page off.

Heres teh last one I did. Its really bizzare but I used to have this thing about HAVING to do my pages in order. Im over it now and I think i like doing them out of order much better. Gives you variety..

Lots of the Eb scrapping girls are meeting up at a big scrap retreat. Sounds fantastic. I bet they have a ball. Cant wait to see pics and hear all about it..

Thomas beside the ear problems, he is just a gorgeous little boy. I adore him soo much. He loves to cuddle and comes up and throws his little arms around my neck. I just love kissing his gorgeous baby skin and smelling him. He likes to chuck a good tantie and loses his temper at his sister. Loves to throw a punch back at her when she is picking on him. Nothing more beautiful then sibling rivalry. LOL.

Even though he cant hear very well he is good at following directions and I have noticed that I do actually talk to his face and point things out when I talk to him without even realising Im actually doing it. His beautiful little smile lights up a room and I get a lot of comments about how gorgeous it is...

He is sooo good at feeding himself. I love to watch how he uses the fork and spoon and shovels it in then see how proud he is of himself. He is a good little eater ( except for today)

When we ask him where his belly button is he lifts up his shirt and cracks up laughing. This was what he was doing in this pic. SOOO funny.

Hollie This kid was sent to challenge me. I find each day sooo hard and just cant wait for the night time. She constantly fights with me, wont do as I tell her, throws massive tantrums. I just dont know what to do. I hope these grommits make a difference to her behaviour and her sleep. I just cant take the sleep shit anymore. Its ridiculous. She ends up in bed with me every night and jay goes to the lounge. Then she tosses and turns and talks and carries on all night.

She has been sooo bored these holidays without Roxy and kids here and asking me everyday who can come over. Today she finally had a freind over and she was sooo nasty and mean to her and wanted her to go home in the first 5 minutes. I gve up. I dont know what to do anymore. She just frustrates the hell out of me.

But then she is also so beautiful sometimes. I love when she thanks me for cooking her tea or making her breakfast. She tells me that she loves me all teh time and gives me great big cuddles. She calls Thomas "buddy". I love when she says, "cmon little buddy"...

My Marraige THis is a post I put on EB about our relationship at the moment. I think it has improved slightly since I posted this but He is at the pub tonight and I know he will be there tommorrow night.

I dont know where to start really unsure.gif .. DH and I have been fighting a lot lately as he has been going off and doing his own thing all the time. He says he doesn't want to be here cause I'm a b**ch so would rather be out, And i'm a b**ch cause I just want him to help me out a bit.. I am so so so tired. Emotionally and pysically. I just need some support...

Dh works 8:30 to 6pm each day. This week he went to a baseball meeting straight after work at another town an hour away and got home at 11pm.. Wed night, went to baseball training then the pub, so got home after I did all the kids to bed stuff.. Friday HAD to go to the pub to do the raffles, got home at 11pm. Today we went to baseball was a nice day with the kids and stuff and now he is out on the town, blind as a bat, NFI when he will come home... I had to bring the kids home on my own, both fell asleep in the car and I had to carry them in, then they woke screaming and carrying on cause they are overtired and cold. Im really p*ssed off.. I dont want this life. I was with an alcoholic for 5 years. DH actually spent more time with me and did less drinking before we had kids.

Last week He went straight to the pub from work on the Friday night and told me he would be home at half time in the footy.. He had driven to the pub. When it got to 12am i started to worry and called his mobile 37 times and left 5 messages asking could he just please ring me or message me to say he was ok. He got home at 4am... rant.gif Im just so over it... If I say to him come home and ill give you some lovin wub.gif he never turns up.. Whats that say... blush.gif sad.gif

My dad never went to the pub and always stayed home and worked around the yard. I guess I just have high expectations. When he is home he just lays on the lounge. Every night he pretty much goes to sleep on the lounge.

I have 2 kids that don't sleep through. I'm totally exhausted.

Am I overreacting and Should I just let him have his fun. He thinks im just a stuck in the mud and I dont want him to have fun.. A few weeks ago we went out together and had a really great time. Cant that be enough drinking and carrying on for awhile..... I just feel like giving up and letting him do what ever he wants....


I got some great replies and sent them to Jamie. He was NOT happy of course and tol me he doesnt care what any other husband does or what any other wife thinks.. NOICE...

AGGHHHH Thomas crying.... So thats a wrap...... WOnt be so long in between posts next time..

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

ARGGGHHH i have been so sick... Ended up in hospital on a drip yesterday. Had been vomiting non stop since Sunday night and couldnt even keep gastrolyte down. Was so dehydrated. They wanted me to stay in but I talked them in to giving me the fluids then reviewing me and sending me home.. THANK GOD. Those hospital beds are soo uncomfy. Thank god for Janelle. She came and had my kids for me while her kids were at daycare. I felt so awful cause she had to take them to her drs appointment with her. I dont know what I woudl have done without her. Everytime I vomited before Janelle got here Hol was freaking out, and Thomas just wantd to play in it... GROT..

Had weigh in yesterday and I guess I had a bit of help from the vomiting but I lost 3kgs this week ( this is going off my dodgy scales though.. I need some good ones..) I have gone pretty good with my eating but I havent quite done as much excercise as I would have liked. I find it really hard to fit it in with everything else and the treadmill is impossible to get on with the kids..

I was wondering if anyone knows a way of working out how many calories are in foods that you cook yourself like biscuits and slices and muffins and stuff......

My other news is that I received my Layout back from scrapbooking memories saying they arent publishing. Im so shattered and embarrassed. Ive told everyone about it going in and my family were only raving on about it on the weekend and wanted me to send them copies of the magazine. I just feel like such an idiot... :(....