The life of a Riley

Just read Felicitys comment in my blog and Im SOOOOOO glad you wrote that chick. I have these issues in my mind about the guilt of being depressed when I did IVF to have them. Its like, something I cant explain but you feel like you have to be grateful (which I am) and that you should be floating on a cloud. That is the way I WANT to feel. I dont want to be like this.. I hate it...

I went to the counsellor today and talk about a total utter waste of time. She is called a "mental health nurse" and all she did was paper work of filling crap out and said oh well ill make another appointment and see how you are going next week.. WT... She did nothing. Not a smidgen of advice. NOTHING. She even said she doesnt know anything about coping techniques blah blah blah. Well why they hell are you there helping our people with mental health problems.. OMG i hate this shit hole of a town sometimes.... GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRr

Jamie forgot to pick Hollie up from daycare today.. How embarrssing. I felt awful when I got there. I went downt to his work to pick her up and he didnt have her.. Bloody men. I was at my appointment.. I have been using the 123 magic on her and seems to be going ok. I can see it working if I just keep doing it and be consistant..

This guy that works with Jay has a daughter thats 17 and they live around the corner ( i have to drive past there house everyday) and we know them really well. Anyway yesterday jay rings me and says " we are totally out of the loop". I was like WHY.. He said Fred( not real name) isnt at work today cause his daugther is gonna have her baby today.. We were like OMFG. I only saw her the other day. WE had NFI.... TOtallly in shock....blown away....

T
homas was 4 months old yesterday..
Check out how gorgeous he is... Isnt he just precious.. He looks soo much like me i rekon. But then again where his hair is sitting up he looks more like jamie.. AWWWE he is soo cute. I havent been able to put him down today he has been soooo full of wind and in soo much pain. Poor little thing. I also fogot his losec lastnight so I think that didnt help much...

He loves his mummy sooo much. He just loves to snuggle in to me and nuzzle under my neck.. A real mummys boy... Still doesnt feel like he is mine. Its just sooooo surreal that I have a boy.