ARGGGHHHH I cannot do this shit anymore... I dont know where to start or how to say any of this. But im not coping. I need to go up to full dose on my Anti depressants but Im freaking out, I just want someone to tell me, YES DO IT.. Why am I having issues with it? I took them while I was pg with Hollie. But now Im wondering if she was such a shit baby cause of the AD's. I know she has bad reflux but what IF? I wasnt even told to go down, I just did myself. SO what is my issue.....
DH asks, Why cant I just be happy? I dont bloody know. If I did I would be. I dont want to be like this. I know Im much better then I was back 6 years when I first had my breakdown and was agorphobic. I know I have come such a long way. But I need help and there is nothing available till next year. I need to get back on track with my thoughts. I need that extra half a tablet.
I want to enjoy Hollie and DH and the pregnancy. I want that soooo much. I dont want to fight with Jay every day. I dont want to scream at HOllie. I grabbed her sooo hard yesterday cause I was just losing it. She said I hurt her :(. I dont want to do that. Shes my gorgeous gal I love her. The day before she accidently hit me with a toy and I ripped it out of her hand and through it across the room. She started crying and told me I scared her.. What sort of a mum am I.
I scored 25 on the edinburugh scale yesterday :(....
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3 comments:
OH thanks Dannii........ Im seeing GP On monday... I got through to a place in sydney this morning and spoke to a lady from mothers safe. She reassured me about my meds and that they wont effect the baby.. Encouraged me to go back up in my dose...
Hey sorry about not talking on msn, got some major stuff going on here. But JUST DO IT. Go back up to your prescribed dose. If that was the dose that was working before then that is the dose you need. No ifs ands or buts. If you needed that amount before then you need it even more when pg. The docs wouldn't have you on it if it would hurt the baby.
Hols really won't remember any of this...
N
ditto to everythign that's been said here. chin up mate. you are wonderful :)
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