FIL passed away on the 25th of September quite suddenly. 4 days before his only daughters wedding. Ironically it wasnt the cancer that led to his death. He had a feed tube in his stomach as his oesphegus was still restricted from the ray treatment and the op. The tube had split and FIL went without any feeds for 24 hours. He is diabetic so this wasnt a good thing. He was booked in to have his tube replaced on the Friday. Friday morning Jays mum called him to come help her get his dad in the car cause he was delirous and couldnt walk and stuff ( haveing a hypo). MIL got him to hospital and he had his tub replaced then the hospital rang her to say he was ready to go home. MIL said are you kidding, Have you spoken to him.. So they checked his blood sugars and they were off the planet. The said if they hadnt have got it when they did ( yeah thanks to MIL) he would have gone in to a diabetic coma.
SOO he goes up to the BASE hospital where they find he is also really dydrated and start pumping him with fluid and getting his sugar levels right. We were going over to Tamworth to stay the night so we went up and saw him and he was ok ( though still in ICU). 5am the next morning Jay gets a phone call to go to the hospital as they think his dad has a chest infection (his dad hates hospitals so wanted someone there).. 3 hours later I get a phone call from Jamie crying in to the phone, his mum then gets on and says , just come in to the hospital Kaysie...
When I got there they told me that he had an infection in his blood and something going on with his lung and wasnt expected to live the day. Lots of tears and goodbyes. That day jamie and I hardly left his side. The next day we did shifts of staying with him as he is terrified that the nurses would give him morphine. THe drs thought I was his daughter cause of the time I was spending at his bedside. I was singing to him and rubbing his feet and reading him the paper and stuff. At this stage he could still nod and tell us stuff with his eyes.. He was desperatly trying to tell Jay something. They kept coming and getting me as I was understanding most of what he was saying, but I have no idea what he was telling jay. The dr called the family in (i stayed with Ian) and told them that they thought Ian was hanging on for the wedding and that they would do all they could do help him do so.
The next morning I got a call from Jamie telling me that it was the day. So i packed up the kids and went in to see FIL basically unconsious hooked to machines. He had been moved to a private room and MIL wanted us all to spend some time with him saying what we needed to. Jay and I sat with him and cried and cried. I stroked his hand and his hair. Jamie couldnt cope anymore so left to get his mum, who found me lieing on his bed sobbing. She comforted me and we cried some more. By then everyone had had some time with him, so she called us all back in to the room.Ill never forget her words.... " Its ok darling, you can go now, we are all here together to look after each other". Just like the movies we then saw a dr appear in the doorway with a stetescope ( they were watching his obs outside on the screen) and they annoucned time of death. Was really surreal and just like watching a movie. I kissed his head and stroked his hair and told him we loved him and would think of him lots..
MIL immediatley called us to the family conference room to sort out what was going to happen in regards to the wedding and the funeral. That women has strength I could never dream about. We neeeded to hve the funeral 2 days later to give us time for the wedding. MIL wanted us all to have a say about the funeral so we sat down and looked at poems and songs and came up with what we liked... I wrote the service and the eulogy..
The funeral was hard and lots of tears were shed. We are still basically in shock and it just doesnt quite seem real yet. Just seems like he is away on one of his mazda trips or something. He and Hollie adored each other and I feel so much pain that he wont be here for her. He called her his "princess". Hollie has been asking why we are sad, and talks about Poppy in Heaven and how one day she will see him and give him a big hug. I only hope she doesnt forget him.
Ill leave you with a copy of the service booklet I made... here is the front and back
here is the inside
This is the Eulogy.......EULOGY
Ian John Eveleigh was born 8th July 1946, in Gunnedah. Son to Gordon and Mavis Eveleigh and older brother to Lindsay and Wayne.
Being the eldest Ian took on the role of leader among the boys and was quite often bossing them around and telling them what to do. A story his mother often told was of him as a young boy riding his 3 wheeler bike from little conadilly street to the shearing shed, 3klms out of town on the Boggabri road.
Tragedy struck at 8 years of age when Ian lost his left arm. In true Ian Eveleigh style he didn’t let this hold him back and with great determination he moved on with his life and didn’t let it stop him from doing anything.
Ians first job was in the dairy at Wick Atkinsons , where he later become the local milkman. A running joke in the household was that Jamie, Sam, and Sally were the milkmans offspring.
In 1963, while working at the BP service station,. Ian and Ro met during frequent fuel top ups. On the first date Ian surprised Ro by taking of his prothetic arm and throwing it over into the backseat of the car. While this was an interesting party trick, it was not the image Ro was expecting on her first date. This was a side of Ian that Ro came to love.
Ian was a bit of a perfomer and liked to belt out a few country and western tunes. His interest in music led him in 1970 to take up a position as an entertainment manager for artists performing in clubs.
After Ro telling him that she wouldn’t marry him till he got a real job, Ian applied for a position as warranty clerk at Wrightford motors. This was his first taste of the automotive industry, Ian and Ro were soon after Married and returned to Gunnedah to start their new life together.
Their first child Jamie arrived in 1976 followed 12 months later by Sam. They were Ian’s pride and joy,he enjoyed taking them on holidays and showing them how to catch the big fish.
Ian was over the moon with the arrival of his “Princess” Sally in 1984, He loved his family and was so proud of their achievements.
He was a real family man,
He was hard but fair and taught his kids right from wrong and advised them on all the challenges that would come along in life.
In 1974 Ian became manager of Namoi Valley Implement Co, selling Farm Equipment and beginning his long Association with Mazda. In 1977 Ian and Ro bought the business
And renamed it Ian Eveleigh Motors. He enjoyed the good times and the bad that the Seasons in Gunnedah produced. He not only sold plenty of cars but made lifelong bonds with his many customers throughout the years.Ian was Passionate about the Mazda and Nissan products and believed in the product he was selling. He loved his work and was truly proud of what he and Ro had achieved.
There was nothing Ian liked more then spending some time out away from home enjoying the fresh air and sunshine. This is when the family bought the van at Keepit Dam. This became a home away from home, and Ian looked forward to nothing more then spending his weekends at the Dam fishing, drinking and enjoying a good cigar..
Since 2000 Ian has faced many challenges with his health. In 2000 he went to Sydney and underwent a quadruple heart bypass. In 2005 he fell off a ladder and cut both shins to the bone. He more recently had been fighting Cancer and the effects of diabetes, which ultimatly led to his passing.
2 comments:
I'm so sorry.
BIg hugs Kays - I had tears so could only imagine what you were like especially after helping my friend the last week or so - how do you cope after it has all died down? Catch up soon Mwah Mel
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