The life of a Riley

In Tamworth at mum and dads at the moment. Not doing so well. Its getting really tough again and Im not coping. Dad says he understands how i feel, How the fuck would he know? has he done IVF. NOOOOOOOO.. Feeling so isolated and alone.

Did a bit of shopping this weekend with money that I didnt have. Didnt buy anything for ME once again it was stuff for HOllie. GOt her the cutest pair of slipper ugg boot things and some new sneakers, and a new lunch thingy that she thinks is fantastic. Only cost me 3 bucks. Oh I did buy something for me. I was DESPERATE for a new bra. The one I have been wearing ( i only have 1) is so tight it creaks when I move. So uncomfy. Got the lady to measure me up properly and Im a 16 E not a D Like i have been wearing LOL. Bras are so pricey, Hate wasteing money on them but gotta keep these huge boobs from touching the ground somehow..

Jays baseball carnval is on this weekend but it hasnt stopped raining. Which is fantastic as we are back in the midst of drought but not good for the baseball. Hol is fascinated with the rain. Suppose you would be if you had only seen it twice in your life.

I have cried myself to sleep the last two nights and spent a lot of today in bed when not shopping. Why cant I cope with this? Im strong... I guess i get sick of people asking me when we are going to have another baby then saying to HOllie. You would like a brother or sister wouldnt you. Or telling me I should have twins next. grrrr Its just so frustrating. The amount of women I saw today with a toddler and really pg was amazing. Every single one of them I just stared and thought, I wonder if you know how lucky you really are that that comes natural for you. That is so bad, I dont want to think like that... arrgghhh hormones leave my body before I explode. Still on synarel but will start injections about Thursday I think.......

Bye for now.