The life of a Riley

Do you ever think back to a place in your past and think that back then you would have never dreamed that you would be who you are now? I never thought I would ever have to do IVF or be high risk pregnancy. THought it would just come easy cause I wanted it so bad. If I had of stayed in the relationship I was in ( with an abusive, alcholic, drug addict) I would never of had the chance to have a child. I always blamed the fact we couldnt get pregnant on him and his alcohol. No way in the world I would have thought it was me. In a way Im glad that I couldnt fall pg to him, I would still be there and chained to him for life. I cant imagine myself in that life anymore. I cant beleive I was once there.

Ok enough reminescing ( sp?). Im only having spotting when having a shower cause im standing up for a long period ( was told that would happen), besides that I have had No more bleeding. I havent moved off the lounges since I got homw though. Only to go to the toilet and lay back down.

You know when I was in hospital, I couldnt stop thinking about if I lost this baby how I would cope watching Net, faith, Roxy, Lee and Penny have there babies. OMG it would tear me apart and probably ruin all the relationships I have with them.

Yesterday I had to whip down to the dr to show him this bloody painful thing I have on my back. Called Denise ( nurse that used to run playgroup) to come over and have a look for me. She came and said I needed it to be seen to cause it was red and inflamed. The dr said it is an infected subacious cyst, doesnt that sound lovely?.LOL. He has given me some antibiotics but crikey its still killing me..

Jay and Hols have gone to the baseball presentation so Im home alone, bored off my nut. Hope they dont stay out too late, as Hol isnt 100% and she is really tired.

Keep forgetting to mention that I ordered my new camera. Its a cannon 30d digital SLR. This will be my first digital SLR. Im a bit scared about giving my film SLR a flick to the back of the cupboard :(. I get sooo hesitant about change. Anyway this is the new way of the photography world so I need to go with the flow. Have to admit im starting to get excited about playing with it. If its in Jay might pick it up Tuesday while im in hospital ( we have to pick it up in Tamworth)...

Bye for now.