The life of a Riley

Well ive been in hospital since early hours of monday morning. I woke up to go to the loo at 2am and I had lots of bright red bleeding. Thought I was going to pass out I was so freaked out. Rang the hospital and they told me to come in. I wanted to just drive myself there but NO Jay wouldnt have that, so we woke Hols up and bundled her into the car and off to the hospital.

I have been going absolutley crazy in there. I wasnt in materinity I was just in the general ward with 3 old ducks. The aboriginal lady that came into emergency not long after me has 11 bloody kids. SHe had people going in and out of emergency carrying on and then we got moved in the same room. She had ( no joke) about 50 visitors in one day. I had one visitor, Roxy....How sad.

he last couple of days ive been so scared that I havent been rubbing my belly or talking to bubs ( as i do) cause im just too scared. Last night when i could get anyone to listen with the doppler I was freaking cause I had a feeling things werent good. The morning sickness has just about gone, which scares me even more, pretty ironic since I just wanted it to dissapear..LOL Deb came on this mornign and checked with the doppler so that was reassuring.

My dr hasnt told me diddly squat so I asked my freind to check my notes and he didnt have a reason for bleeding written in there. When i went to sign out I was talking to the nursing manager ( who i know) and said I had a few spots this morning but the blood wasnt bright, as it was when I came in. She explained that cause I have an imcompetent cervix, whenever the cervix gets a bit of pressure on it ( ie me standing up and babies wieght on it) it thinks that it needs to start shortening and dialate. Which is where the bleeding is coming from apparently.

Im still off to hospital on Tuesday for the stitch and I will have a scan on Monday to ( in drs words) " check the preganacy is viable". What a horrible word.

I have just missed Hollie soooo much... Lastnight she said to me "you come home too mummy" I just bawled and bawled after she left. Today she is in daycare so I dont even get to see her again..

I am soooooooooooooooo itching to get up and do something... House is driving me nuts. GRR. Im only on toilet privledges still. WOnder if I will ge any visitors at home. Im so lonely :(

Love you little baby, Hang on for mummy....