The life of a Riley

I cried myself to sleep lastnight. Just a few things going on at the moment that are getting me down.

The awful dreams are coming back this pregnancy as well. I have these horrible dreams that are so real. They scare me so much I wake crying and start having panic attacks. I woke with one lastnight at the motel and I was soo scared I had to turn the tv on and watch a movie to help switch my mind off it.

Jay is going away on Thursday for work and I am terrified. I havent stayed a night at home alone since I first started having panic attacks 6 years ago. Fingers crossed I can organised to get MUm here to stay with me or get to her house for the night. It makes me realise how bloody incapable that mental illness can make you.


On a venting note. THere is so much bitchy shit going on in my life at the moment. I try to stick up for a freind with another freind and both bloody slap me down and now im the bloody bitch. I give up. NO MORE... no more putting myself out for everyone, no more being the one that takes all the crap, no more involving myself in those situations. I just dont need it with all the other added stress and crap going on in our lives. This issue is about 99th on my list of priorities of shit to deal with. OVER AND OUT!!!

PS good luck to Net on her scan today... Fingers crossed its not eptopic.....