The life of a Riley

My little girl is with Nan and pop today. Yesterday was the worst day with her. I was so exhausted from her not sleeping and was so sick throwing up and crap. I went off my nut at her and I smacked her ( i dont usually smack), then i cried and it was just a shit day. I was at mum and dads but they were both at work so It was just me and her. We drove to town and I nearly fell asleep driving. I haven never done that before.

WHen jay came back from Port macquarie to pick us up Mum offered to have her for the night and Jay will pick her up tonight. I thought i was ok with that, but when I got home I cried myself to sleep. THe whole thoughts of what if something ever happens to her I couldnt cope. Not having her here in the house makes me realise how bare it is without her. I adore like noone else. SHe is my best freind. Then i started getting upset about how I think I have made the wrong choice having another baby. How is HOllie going to feel? She will be so jelous and hate me for having to share myself. I sobbed and sobbed.

I cant wait to see her now... Wish 6 oclock would hurry up. I just wanna hold her and cuddle her and tell her how much i love her......

Better go before the tears start again.