Thursday, August 31, 2006

This is a miserable post, that felt better to write down my feelings. Just ignore if you like. Its more therapy for me.


Ok I think its all just hit me...........

I cant stop crying. IM terrified of goign through all this again. My pregnancy with HOllie was soo hard and difficult. I dont think anyone understands the utter fear Jay and I lived in while I was pg. Going to the city to see the babies in NICU and being told our baby would be there. Not knowing when it was going to happen. I harldy moved till I got to 28 weeks for fear of going into labour. The trips in the ambulance to Tamworth in the middle of the night, and being told I would be flying out that night in a helicopter to have my baby. I remember 24 weeks. It was xmas day and I was relieved to be that far. I knew if I could get that far my baby had a chance of living...

I know I am SOO lucky that Hollie was as stubborn (and the bedrest helped im sure) as she was and had to be evicted but the whole expereince of her pregnancy will never leave us. I guess Dr Hollebone talking about how she would have been born at 22 weeks and not lived without the stitch, kind of freaked me out. I cant imagine my life without her.

I know I can do this again. I know I can get this baby to full term. I just need to get past the stitch going in without going into labour and its my job to do the rest.
Posted by at

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

I can hear your mind racing at a hundred miles an hour from all the way over here hun. I know it's easy for me to say sitting on the other end of the screen but take a deep breath and take it all one step at a time. You will get through this. Work out what your priorities are and then work out how and what others can do to help you get through this pregnancy - maybe you could see if you can get Hollie in for an extra day per week at daycare to give you an extra day of rest; maybe give Medicare a call and see if you're close to your Safety Net limit which with all your IVF etc I would think you would likely be at least close to it and that would mean you get 80% of your out of pocket expenses back so that would remove the worry of the medical costs; maybe start compiling a list of things that aren't a priority and that can be outsourced to family and friends and a list of those that are willing to provide that practical help of babysitting, meals, housework etc as often people want to help but don't know how or what so are waiting to be asked. Focus on taking one step at a time and the mountain won't seem so steep and daunting and things will come together just as they have with finding a photographer for the wedding.

I know this isn't an easy time for you but trust in the fact that everything will work out and will be ok. You got through this once before and although some of the circumstances are different this time round eg. you now have Hollie to think about in the equation you will get through it again this time.

Thinking of you.

1:34 AM
Kaysie said...

thank you both of you......

I do have her name down for another day of care, and they know the situation but there is no spots available.....

Had a big cry to jay last night ( till midnight-feelign VERY tired today) and he is going to help me through a few other issues im dealing with as well as these......

Thanks for all your love and suggestions...

Kaysie

8:20 AM
Angela said...

I wish I lived near you sweetie. I would be there to help out in a heartbeat. I really don't know what to say but i want you to know that you are always in my thoughts and i know you can do this. Take care xxx

3:22 PM
Anonymous said...

Hi Kays

Just wanted to send you my support. I am here (or should I say on msn) if you need to talk.

The other comments before me have some excellent suggestions. And it sounds like you started working on them already. Take care of yourself, I know it is hard but just take it day by day and do as you need to do.

Don't forget to rely more on the people close to you (i.e. distance wise) as I am sure there are more people just waiting to help than you realise.

Much love

Ali

5:23 PM
Kaysie said...

I wish I had as many helpful freins irl as I do on the net...I didnt have offers for help when I was on rest with Hols. Its always ME helping everyone else....

Think everyone else in this house is gonna have to pull there socks up and a few rules need change...

Thanks girls
Kaysie

9:37 PM
amanda said...

Hey kays - take it easy sweetie.

Step by step you will get there. Keep your chin up (easy for me to say i know)

We are here for you chick.

12:13 AM

Post a Comment

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)